Sometimes You Just Have to Breathe

03 Jan
January 3, 2008

What do you do when life hits you with a curve ball and you can’t catch your breath? No matter who we are; successful or not, wealthy or not, loved or not, we still face tough times. I have to admit, I am not always living the life I thought that I would. I am not always in the best space that I want to be physically, emotionally and financially. I get hit with curve balls too.
Many of you may not know, but one of the hats that I wear is as the Executive Director of a non-profit housing program. We provide housing and other resources to mentally ill people.I got hit with a curve ball a moment ago. A significant amount of funding for my non-profit is under threat. This is enough income to financially devastate our program. I feel a lot of emotions about this. Remember what I have said before? Do not take non-personal things personally. Well, I can’t decide if this is personal or not. Do you ever have to work with people who just flat out do not like you? From the moment you met them, it is apparent that you rub them the wrong way? I have that situation. The person who holds the ability to decide the funding fate of this program, just isn’t a nice guy. The only solace I feel is that he is electing to do this to more than one program. I just can’t seem to find the comfort in that I am not alone.
So, how do I move forward in the face of this threat? This is where the rubber meets the road. I need to look at the benefit of the situation. I need to see what lesson I need to learn here. What makes it so hard is that 24 (and ultimately far more) mentally ill people may end up homeless because of this decision. I fear for these people. I fear for myself. It feels so wrong to eliminate support for fundamental services for disabled people. Our program provides housing and food and safety. These are fundamental basics.
What to do…….
I will keep you posted. I have allowed myself 24 hours to be scared and distraught. On Monday, I will look for solutions and light. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear from you.

New Year’s Resolve; open the lock

31 Dec
December 31, 2007

It’s New Years Eve and I have been thinking about what is the best piece of information that I have to give you. I feel the excited energy of the people who truly want change in their lives. I worry for those who make resolutions and break them so soon. What can I say to you to make this year THE year?
As I will tell you about in an upcoming column, I am a huge fan of Esther Hicks and the Abraham-Hicks information. I love the analogy of our lives being a river and all that we want is downstream, but all we do is put our boat in the river and paddle upstream. We need to learn to go with the stream and all that we desire will be there. In addition, we need to enjoy the journey and learn from the journey. You wouldn’t sign up for a rafting trip and tell the guide to put your boat in 100 yards from the destination. You want to experience the journey.
What I know for sure is that it is the journey that delivers the goods. This is because, in order for us to truly achieve and maintain that achievement, we must become a different person from who we are now. It is the becoming of that person that is the gift, not the goal. The goal is a by-product of the becoming.
In other words, it takes certain character traits and actions to to be an achiever. It is like a combination lock. the traits are the numbers and the actions are the movements on the lock that open it. Locks don’t open by chance or with luck. It takes specific numbers (character traits) and movements (actions) to open the lock every time. Once you master what you need, the lock opens every single time.
Embrace the journey and know it is a neccessary part of achievement. If you have the discipline and the commitment for the long haul, you will manifest into your life all that you want to be, do and have. You do not have to work long or hard, you have to work smart. Faydra and Company will offer you ideas and opportunities to awaken your potential. Our company cannot show you the road you need, we can only offer you ideas about topics that may be related to your thoughts that something is out there for you. We can expose you to beliefs and notions that will resonate with who you really are or want to be. That is our goal.
If you have a specific question, let me know and I will do my best to give you information that you need to hear in order to awaken your potential.
Happy New Year!

Meaningful movement is the key to weight loss

27 Dec
December 27, 2007

Good Evening

I am watching the poll and it seems to me that there is an interest in learning tricks that will help keep the weight off. Well, the first tip I have is to educate yourself. Most of us who are or who were overweight, are actually suffering a by-product of a bigger issue. The weight is an outward manifestation of an inner issue. Once you can put your finger on why you have the weight issue, the weight will fall off. Trust me. I lost 100 pounds in 10 months eight years ago. The funny thing was, I didn’t even set out to lose weight when it happened, but that’s a story for later. I just feel that it is very important to tell you that I can give you all the tips in the world, but if you aren’t really right with yourself, it will be harder to lose and even harder to keep off.

My advice to anyone who wants to lose weight is to start by moving. You must prioritize YOU into your life. You must commit to YOURSELF and you must not let yourself down. When I was a part of the running group RSAAB, a big part of our commitment to each other was to lose the idea that we didn’t have enough time. We exercised in the dark, in the rain at 5:00 a.m. or 8:00 p.m. we committed to ourselves and it paid off. The sisterhood of that group took slackers and made them into achievers. You must get your body healthy. The greatest thing about being overweight and out of shape is that you will lose more weight and make more improvements in your physique at this stage in the game. Because you are out of sorts, the weight will come off the easiest at this stage. Lucky You!
Start by committing to 30 minutes of meaningful exercise. Meaningful means movement that gets your heart pumping and makes you breathe relatively hard. This is the way to burn some calories. A brisk walk is simply a cop out.

So why am I promoting movement first? Because movement will help you in more ways than simply cutting calories. Movement will increase your lung capacity, help your blood flow and burn calories. Most important is the connection to the brain. Movement will induce chemical reactions in your system that will make you feel good.
When I began my movement regimen, I always went alone. To this day, I prefer to exercise alone. It is through the process of losing weight and moving that I really discovered myself and got in touch with my life’s purpose. So, if you can, spend this time alone. If you are not interested, find a partner. Either way, JUST DO IT!

Next time we will look at ways to cut calories in your life without feeling punished.

One thing I want to say in all honesty – the whole time I was losing I got so many reactions from people. I learned a lot about human nature and I can easily tell someone who has the capacity to make positive permanent change in their life. If you tell yourself that you are different than I am, or that it was somehow easier for me to lose weight than it will be for you, you will NEVER be thinner. This is how your inner issues are affecting your life. If you have tried to lose weight and have failed over and over again, then that is your signal that you have a belief problem, not a weight problem. I know, because I have been there.

Please post your progress and struggles to the blog and I promise I will walk you through this or email me at lifecoach@shasta.com
P.S. I ran two miles today and I feel great!

Be sure to sign up for the workshop

21 Dec
December 21, 2007

Space is filling up for the Resignations and Applictions workshop on January 12 from 10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m. Make that call to Trilogy Day Spa at 528-0516 and register for two hours of fun and insight. Come learn how resign from issues that no longer serve you. Learn to identify what you want and apply for it.
This workshop is 50% off! $25.00, is a small price to pay to change your focus and create something new and meaningful in your life.
Best of all, come meet Melina Robison, Theta Practitioner and one of my teachers. Listen to my story of how she helped me banish negative thoughts that were keeping me from achieving my desires. See how, after one session, I managed to accomplish something I had desired for years. Watch her show you how muscle testing can show you if you are on or off track with your desires. It’s amazing!
See you there!!!

What is Divorce Coaching?

14 Dec
December 14, 2007

Many are asking, What is Divorce Coaching? Great question. A divorce coach is someone who walks you through the emotional, financial and legal stresses of divorce. A divorce coach is an unbiased, straight-talking support person who provides one to one assistance with:
Emotional support
Agency referrals
Documentation organization
Priority setting
A divorce Coach can help you get organized to think with your head and avoid being run over by emotions; can help you face your realities and look out for your best interest and those of your children; is designed to compliment therapy and support you and your attorney; is a sounding board with practical and personal experience and activities designed to get you through the divorce process with your integrity, checkbook and children intact.
Divorce coaching saves you money, helps you to be organized when you meet with your attorney by having important documents and information ready, keeps you focused should you meet with a therapist and know what issues you want to work on, saves hours of heartache by critically analyzing your unique situation, teaches techniques to build the best post-divorce relationship possible.
Divorce coaching helps you avoid these divorce pitfalls:
the “victim game”
the “winner take all game”
unfounded parent guilt
emotional upheaval
helpless/hopeless and other insecurities
hate or other negative unproductive feelings.
Why do I believe in Divorce Coaching? Because I had a fairly nasty divorce and now I know that it didn’t need to be that way. I have a the best post-divorce relationship possible now and I want to help others avoid the pitfalls of divorce.
If you are like I was in my divorce, you may feel like you don’t have a lot of options, like you are in an emotional hell and that you are alone, even among family and friends. Like me, you may be making wrong decisions based on emotion and not logic. You may need guidance from an unbiased source that can provide one-stop shopping about the many aspect of divorce. Let’s face it, not all of us have family members who are attorney’s, fiscal managers, therapists and child development experts. If that’s the case for you, then you need the assistance of a great Divorce Coach. Someone who can streamline your needs and get you through this time in your life.
Let me give you one example of a lesson I learned. I used to spend a lot of time focused on wanting my ex-husband to “do the right things” Pick any category and I will tell you I wanted him to do the right thing. What I learned is that it is impossible for me to put an expectation on someone that they meet a need that I have on my terms. When you are married there is an expectation that the two of you are working in each others best interests. Once you are no longer a couple, the expectation must go away. What is most valuable, is when each person realizes this to be fact. No amount of wanting the ex to “do the right thing” is going to make it so. You may be right in a given situation that they could have or should have done something different or better, but being right gets you nowhere. There is no divorce referee who will call a foul on your ex and give you a divorce point.
Once you realize that divorce is not fair and no amount of desire will make it so, you can get on to the reality of what divorce is and move forward. Once you are no longer a couple, it is fully understandable that your ex is going to make choices based on a logic that does not include you and your needs. As an ex, you really have no right to expect anything other than legally set judgements. Beyond that, anything kind, generous or otherwise helpful from your ex is a pure bonus. I used to get caught up in the “I’m the mother of his children” trap and let me tell you, for most, it is a trap. It is a rare ex who remains committed to the “mother of his children”. A man wants to maintain his commitment to his children and has moved on from the emotional ties to their mother. He may think of you fondly in his memories, but he most likely will not articulate that to you. Men, hear me clearly too, it is the same for a woman. Women tend to be more emotionally in tune with themselves and may spend more time reflecting on years gone by, but women heal and loose their emotional connections as well.
So what happens when you let go of your expectations? Sometimes people start to step up to the plate. Sometimes they do the absolute minimum possible. Either way, once you have dropped your expectations, neither scenario matters. If you get supported in a way that feels good, great. If nothing happens, you feel no loss.
The important thing is that this is a two way street. It is just as important that you do not do any more in regards to your ex than you would for an acquaintance or not-too-close friend. More importantly, don’t do things to be manipulative or a martyr.
This natural give and take will be difficult at first, but it will repair your relationship. I used to think that if I just explained to my ex how his action (or sometimes inaction) was hurting me or the kids, he would want to make a change. I let my emotions get in the way. He would never agree with my perspective and I never felt the support, understanding or relief that I truly wanted. I was always upset and always felt wronged. Then it hit me one day how hard it must be for him to try to be establishing his Independence from me and what used to be our “family” and to create a new life with a new woman and start their “family” She and I most certainly had different viewpoints about how he should interact with each of us and I knew enough to know that I was not going to receive the interaction I desired. So, I forced myself to completely detach myself from him. Once I started to no longer see him as a resource, I felt better. Not at first. It hurts to let go and say goodbye to things that you shared. Over time, it became normal for me to find solutions to problems on my own. This has helped me to interact with him on a friendly basis without expectations. This is one of the reasons that we have helped develop a less hostile environment for our kids. That makes it all worthwhile.

How do you spend your time?

09 Dec
December 9, 2007

Good Sunday morning to you! I want to ask you, how do you spend your time? Do you trade your money for time? Do you offer up 8 or more hours per day working for someone else? If you work for yourself, do you make the most of this time? What do you do with your free time? Is it productive? Or is it idle and filled with TV: sports, reality TV, soaps, or other shows? Do you take a lie-in on the weekends and get up hours after you really should? Do you burn the midnight oil on the computer and then have no resiliency to wake up the next morning? All of these activities eat up massive quantities of your time. They are usually the things that hold successful people back.
Tim Ferris wrote a book called The Four Hour Work Week. This book helps people realize just how much they allow their time to be consumed by non-events. Events that bring you nowhere. He also talks about ways that successful people curb those behaviors and add other behaviors that allow them to amass serious amounts of time and cash. At first, I listened to his book on CD. Why? Because I was traveling and knew that I would have time available when I was driving. Next, I purchased his book and went back and flagged the information that was useful to me.
It was great to be exposed to his thoughts because I, like Tim, had been living a sort of four hour work week for a few years. I knew many of the things that he was teaching. Affirmation is fabulous!
What did I know that he knew? I knew that there are many time wasters out there that keep us from making the most of our day. Making the most of my day means that I do the things that I need to do quickly and efficiently, so I can move on to the things that I want to do.
Now, this brings up a very interesting thought. One that is a commonality of the thoughts in many aspects of my life. What I WANT to do, is not what most people would think. In respect to free time, I do not WANT to lie around in the numbness of television. I do not WANT to waste hours of my day sleeping in late. I do not WANT to drink massive doses of caffeine to stay up all night on MySpace.
Similarly, with my weight management, I try to maintain a strict diet and exercise routinely. I’m not talking pro-athlete routine, but strict for me having lost 100lbs eight years ago without third party intervention. Having said that, I do cut loose on occasion. Now again, what I WANT when I cut loose is not a 1,000 calorie meal or a 64oz. Latte.
So what DO I want? I use my free time to coach cheer leading, manage a traveling girls basketball team, be a school board member, have lunch with my teenager or friends or business associates, go shopping for things that I want and need, take lots of mini vacations throughout the year, that kind of stuff. In regard to TV, I am a national spokesperson for TIVO. Everyone should have it. I record the hand full of shows that I love and I watch them when I want to. I tell my husband all the time. I control the tv, the tv, does not control me.I NEVER watch sports. It’s like living vicariously through another person. I don’t get it. It takes hours to watch a basketball, football or NASCAR race. Do you know how much can be done in that amount of time. Now, if you ARE an athlete and you watch your “sport” on tv, well, alright, that is at least a form of training, maybe. The point is that my experience is that sport watchers go from sport, to sport, to sport with each season and that they spend phenomenal amounts of time in a prone position watching others being active. Then they complain about never having enough time to get things done, like exercise or yard work or planning their next career move. Helllooooo!
With regard to weight loss, I see people who say “I have been good all week” and then decide that they “deserve” to be bad, so they eat God-knows-what and engage in no form of exercise and then suffer a major depression when the scale returns their favor of increased calories with an increased scale number. Hellllooooo!
When I am “bad” I might have a 12oz latte or a single scoop of Baskin Robbins and then move on. No harm, no regret, no backsliding.
So, what have I been doing this week with the time, my lifestyle has afforded me. I have completed all of my duties of my 40 hour job in about 10 hours. I also completed the physical for my new job as a court investigator that will pay an additional 20 hours per week for about 5 hours worth of work. I wrote my article for the Daily News, and worked on the new blog that you are enjoying, finalized the logo for Faydra and Company, Handed out posters to promote my new workshop, Fund raised 500.00 for the cheer leading team in 1 1/2 hours, made food for 40 and attended my husband’s Christmas party, attended a school board meeting, went to a basketball game for my younger daughters, watched my oldest perform in drama at the high school, fund raised gathering clothing for needy children for the basketball team, went shopping with my daughters, deep cleaned my kitchen, living room, and bathroom, enjoyed the kart races at the fairgrounds, had two nice dinners out, and watched Hairspray with my kids. I put in at least 4 hours of exercise this week and put in at least 5 hours of personal education through non-fiction reading, DVDs or CDs. That is what I can remember off the top of my head. All of which were simple; I was not pressed for time and I really enjoyed what I accomplished.
My point is that because I work smart and not hard, because I do not fill my time with non-value, and because I am organized, I accomplish more and I get more in return. Before this blog entry this morning, I spent time with education, made a hot breakfast, cuddled with my 13-year-old and appreciated the beauty of our Christmas tree. As soon as I am done here, I will run a quick two miles, then I will clean my closet, get some laundry done while I bake 6 dozen cookies for a Diva Cookie Party I was invited to tomorrow. My life is full and fun and yours can be too.
Look at the non-productive time-zappers in your life. Don ‘t let the shiny box keep you from losing track and loosing time. Don’t let Fettuccine Alfredo steal your weight loss. Drink that latte, but try a 12oz. non-fat decaf with no whip version.
What do you think?

Welcome to Faydra and Company!

06 Dec
December 6, 2007

Good evening and welcome to Faydra’s blog. This site is dedicated to awakening your potential. If you have followed my column in the Red Bluff Daily News, you know that I believe that it is through accountability that we can achieve anything in our lives. I have developed a new process to let go of negative thoughts, circumstances and issues through Resignations and Applications. This revolutionary idea will help you say good-bye to whatever is holding you back, and say hello to the new ideas that will springboard your success. Be sure to check out the details on the blog page.

I look forward to interacting with you on a regular basis and sharing experiences, insights and thoughts about how you can be, do and have anything in life you can conceive.
Until next time!
work smart not hard

Upcoming Workshop – Sign Up Now!

04 Dec
December 4, 2007

Coming January 12, 2008 – 10 a.m. – Noon*
Trilogy Day Spa Presents
“Resignations & Applications”
Faydra & Company
Speaker: Faydra Rector-Sargent, MA
Columnist for the Red Bluff Daily News

Take this powerful course and learn my revolutionary concept that helps you let go of issues that hold you back – achieve the life you deserve.

Course includes two hours of fun, laughter, and practical advice on achieving your goals. An easy-to-understand workbook is included for your continued success.

Don’t Miss Out! Sign Up Now!

Faydra is a life coach, author, and columnist for the Red Bluff Daily News
– look for her weekly column Wednesdays on page two,
which features strategies to be, do, and have all that you want and deserve.

Email or Call to sign up today!
lifecoach@shasta.com Trilogy: 530.528.0516

*Additional workshop will develop if capacity for training reached

LOCATION: Trilogy Day Spa – 440 Antelope Blvd. Suite 2, Red Bluff

04 Dec
December 4, 2007

Coming January 12, 2008
Trilogy Day Spa Presents
“Resignations & Applications”
Faydra & Company
Speaker: Faydra Rector-Sargent, MA
Columnist for the Red Bluff Daily News

Take this powerful course and learn my revolutionary concept that helps you let go of issues that hold you back – achieve the life you deserve.

Course includes two hours of fun, laughter, and practical advice on achieving your goals. An easy-to-understand workbook is included for your continued success.

Don’t Miss Out!

Faydra is a life coach, author, and columnist for the Red Bluff Daily News
– look for her weekly column Wednesdays on page two,
which features strategies to be, do, and have all that you want and deserve.

 Sign me up for the January 12, 2008 workshop from 10 a.m. – Noon!*
 Yes! I want to be in the drawing for additional workshop credit!

Name: ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_________________________________

Address: _______________________________


Phone #: _______________________________

Email: _________________________________

Email or Call to sign up today!
lifecoach@shasta.com Trilogy: 530.528.0516
*Additional workshop will develop if capacity for training reached

LOCATION: Trilogy Day Spa – 440 Antelope Blvd. Suite 2, Red Bluff

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