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Barbara Sivesind Fullem, You Matter

11 Jun
June 11, 2013

As seen in the June 11, 2013 edition of the Red Bluff Daily News

A few days ago I was riding my bike with my daughter and out of nowhere I hear hi Faydra, welcome home Meaggan and I look up and there is Barbara waving like crazy. Typical Barbara.

Barbara Sivesind Fullem is literally one of the most cheerful people I know.

Barbara is the type of person who is first on the scene when someone needs something.

It doesn’t matter if it is a big thing, small thing, hard thing, easy thing, subtle thing or outlandish thing, she is there. Barbara is always up for a good time and can be counted on when her friends need her. She is full of life and spreads cheer wherever she goes.

Barbara makes cheer mountains out of mole hills. She lives to make other people smile, even at the expense of herself.

Though she scoffs at the seemingly dried up opportunities for dating, she is a hopeless romantic who believes that somewhere out there is someone who wants to live, laugh and love the Barbara way.

They will be the luckiest man alive when their paths finally cross, and I know they will.

Barbara has charisma, which is not easily found in women. She has a positive attitude that surpasses normal human tendencies.

Her friends love her, her family needs her and the community is better because she is in it.

She is a ball of ceaseless energy and compassion. She is a wonderful role model for friendship.

In this day and age when it is easy to feel defeated and only see

what is wrong in life, people like Barbara are important because they teach us that kindness and a good attitude are a choice.

There is no doubt that Barbara has demons and bad days, we all do, but she always chooses the path of happiness. She is a prime example of being the best you can be, no matter what is happening around you.

Be like Barbara, be uninhibited and free with your enthusiastic love of life.

Laugh loudly and often. See the fun side of life, be a ham, be silly and be loved by those who know you.

Yell hello to people on the street and make them feel welcome. Barbara, you matter. Your happiness is infectious and sets you apart from the dreary side of life. You matter because you are a ray of light in a dimly lit room.

You cast out the negative in this life with your glowing personality and charm.

Going All InEvery single one of us has dreams. Big dreams. Visions of what life could be. Each of us has been infused with dreams that could lead to financial independence, making our mark on the world, changing the way things are done or otherwise having a life of fulfillment, whatever that looks like. We lay around and day dream, plan or wish for a better life that has meaning and feels successful. The fact is, in order to do and have these things, we need back bone, not wish bone. You are capable of being and doing anything you want. You simply have to be willing to go all in. You have to get honest with yourself about what you need to get where you want to go. There is literally nothing in your way except your limiting thoughts. There may be literal obstacles in your way, but they are only issues that you need to confront in order to get to where you want to be. In each of us is a success story if we will only open the book and put ink onto the pages of our lives. I can’t tell you how many things I want to say in my columns, but until I put my fingers on the key board, they are never going to be written. You have the power to create whatever life you choose, and I submit to you, that whatever life you are living now, you chose it. I am about to publish two books, I can list the barriers that kept those books inside my head for far too long: I wasn’t talented enough, I didn’t have the right connections, I didn’t have the money, I didn’t have the credibility, I didn’t have the right opportunities, I didn’t have the time, I felt people were mean to me sometimes, I was too fat to be on television to market my material, people would make fun of me, I would have more haters than fans and frankly, I feared criticism. Each one of these thoughts came from a truth. Either something happened that reinforced my fear or my double mindedness got the best of me. I had to choose to override my thoughts and just get some back bone. Ultimately, I wanted to achieve my goal more than I wanted to believe the negative thoughts. Many times I wrote columns, actually writing to myself, convincing myself that I could do this. Sure, negative things happened, but so did positive things. I can’t tell you how many positive emails or comments I get from people who are impacted by what I do, and if someone doesn’t like what I do, that’s alright too. Some will support you and some won’t. It is an accepted statistic that ten percent of people will not like you. Focus on the ninety percent who do and leave the others to their own thoughts. If you have a dream, no matter how unrealistic it may seem, there is only one thing you need to do to achieve it- go all in. Do the things you need to do to get that dream. Take inventory of why you aren’t where you want to be and be honest with yourself about any thing you need to learn, change, lose or gain to get what you want. It will never serve you if you lie to yourself, make excuses for why it isn’t your fault, fair or whatever lame story you tell yourself to justify failure. Look around at people you see as successful. What traits do you see in them? What skill sets do they seem to have? If you can’t identify obvious characteristics, ask them. You deserve to be your happiest. You deserve to share your talents with the world. You deserve to enjoy your life every day. Go all in. Leave the wishbone for the turkey and get yourse

12 Feb
February 12, 2013

Tai Bickert You Matter

12 Dec
December 12, 2012

 

I will never forget a conversation that I had with Tai. She was explaining to me why she wanted to own a Mr. Pickles franchise. She had an interest in owning a business and wanted to be able to maintain the flexibility she needed to be involved in her young daughter’s lives. She wanted to work as close to 8-5 as possible so she could be home in the evenings to be with her family. A Mr. Pickles franchise offered her the time flexibility she wanted and had the added bonus of providing a valuable product to the community.
At some point in her decision making process, she redirected her energy and broke away from the Mr. Pickles franchise and created Tai’s Deli in the same location with the same service and the same enthusiasm she had when she started out. Again, she weighed what mattered to her in the way of family and business and took steps to bring satisfaction in two major areas of life- work and home.
Tai is an entrepreneurial woman. She is front and center at the sandwich counter and at the soccer field. She has found the harmony of work and home that all women want and only a few go out and grab. It takes guts, good instincts and a supportive family to carve out a niche for yourself when the odds are sometimes against you. Tai is an inspiration to young girls and women who want to take the leap of faith and do something that has no guarantee of success.
I have no doubt that in the beginning Tai must have felt fear. She had the backing of her husband, her friends, her children and a proven franchise, but imagine the courage it took and the belief in yourself to break away from the security of a franchise because you simply knew you could make what was good even better. That is courage that morphs into wisdom. Tai most certainly has valuable lessons and encouraging advice that would benefit women (and men) who have an idea, a dream or some product or service that could benefit their families and their communities.
Tai matters because she had a vision to find a way to create value for the community, a lifestyle for her family and an environment for employees and customers to enjoy sandwiches and more. Tai had the idea, but she had to take the steps to make it a reality. I have no doubt that there were times when it felt hard, not worth the effort and even frustrating. I bet you she had no idea that some of the issues she would have to face existed. I bet you that if she knew now what she didn’t know then, she may have even talked herself out of it all. The fact is, she stayed the fight and she continues to fight every day. Being your own boss has its advantages, but it has plenty of challenges too.
Be like Tai, be willing to go and get the dream, whatever that dream may be. Be like Tai, face any fears you may have about why it won’t work, can’t work or is too hard and just refuse to quit. Be Like Tai, know that it will be hard, it will be frustrating but it will also be worth it all.

Tai Bickert You Matter

12 Dec
December 12, 2012

 

I will never forget a conversation that I had with Tai. She was explaining to me why she wanted to own a Mr. Pickles franchise. She had an interest in owning a business and wanted to be able to maintain the flexibility she needed to be involved in her young daughter’s lives. She wanted to work as close to 8-5 as possible so she could be home in the evenings to be with her family. A Mr. Pickles franchise offered her the time flexibility she wanted and had the added bonus of providing a valuable product to the community.
At some point in her decision making process, she redirected her energy and broke away from the Mr. Pickles franchise and created Tai’s Deli in the same location with the same service and the same enthusiasm she had when she started out. Again, she weighed what mattered to her in the way of family and business and took steps to bring satisfaction in two major areas of life- work and home.
Tai is an entrepreneurial woman. She is front and center at the sandwich counter and at the soccer field. She has found the harmony of work and home that all women want and only a few go out and grab. It takes guts, good instincts and a supportive family to carve out a niche for yourself when the odds are sometimes against you. Tai is an inspiration to young girls and women who want to take the leap of faith and do something that has no guarantee of success.
I have no doubt that in the beginning Tai must have felt fear. She had the backing of her husband, her friends, her children and a proven franchise, but imagine the courage it took and the belief in yourself to break away from the security of a franchise because you simply knew you could make what was good even better. That is courage that morphs into wisdom. Tai most certainly has valuable lessons and encouraging advice that would benefit women (and men) who have an idea, a dream or some product or service that could benefit their families and their communities.
Tai matters because she had a vision to find a way to create value for the community, a lifestyle for her family and an environment for employees and customers to enjoy sandwiches and more. Tai had the idea, but she had to take the steps to make it a reality. I have no doubt that there were times when it felt hard, not worth the effort and even frustrating. I bet you she had no idea that some of the issues she would have to face existed. I bet you that if she knew now what she didn’t know then, she may have even talked herself out of it all. The fact is, she stayed the fight and she continues to fight every day. Being your own boss has its advantages, but it has plenty of challenges too.
Be like Tai, be willing to go and get the dream, whatever that dream may be. Be like Tai, face any fears you may have about why it won’t work, can’t work or is too hard and just refuse to quit. Be Like Tai, know that it will be hard, it will be frustrating but it will also be worth it all.

Tammy Brunello You Matter

18 Sep
September 18, 2012

 

Have you ever known someone that people describe as the nicest person you will ever meet? Do you know someone who is so kind that you aren’t sure it is possible to be that nice all the time? Have you ever known someone with an unending and story-book love for their husband? Have you ever known someone who loves their kids with a passion that transcends being just a good mom? Have you ever seen a woman face things like cancer like a momma bear and show you exactly how you would want to be if you were in the same position? I have. Tammera “Tammy” Brunello is an example of how facing anything in life with love is all we need to do. When you get up in the morning, love your family. When you go to work, love your co-workers and your customers. When you have children, volunteer and love everything they are involved in. When you have friends, love them by being there for them, show them kindness and love through your actions.
Tammy Brunello has always been fierce when it comes to her family. She is the quintessential mother hen, her children were always first in everything she did. When her family faced a medical crisis, she became the frontrunner for everything her son had to endure to get healthy. She never gave a thought about things not being in her son’s favor, she simply loved him and found new friends in everyone who helped her son battle and win his challenge. She never allowed her mess to make her bitter or spent a moment complaining. She simply found the positive in each and every day that went by.
Tammy has a unique ability to wear her loving heart on her sleeve. She freely speaks words of love, she freely shows acts of love and she freely tells people that they are loved. Tammy walks the walk of love. She is there for people in all ways. She invests herself in the things that matter to others. It is just her nature and it sets her apart from other people.
Why is it that some people have such an easy time showing their love while others hide it or are fearful of showing it? There is nothing to fear in loving others. If you love your family, tell them. If you want your child to feel supported and accepted, attend their events, encourage them in all that they do and be there for them. If you love your spouse, tell them. Make an effort to stay connected to them throughout the years. If you want to love others learn to not sweat the small stuff. Don’t waste time on what others aren’t doing right and focus on what you can love about them. If you love your friends, make time with them and make opportunities to grow memories.
Tammy, you matter because you are a teacher. You are an example to others about how to love well. You face life with a grace that is not often seen. You stay humble and strong in a world that can be cynical and mean spirited. Your child-like look at life is endearing. Your simple philosophies about how to treat others are wiser than you know. Thank you for being a role model to your children, your friends and your community. Our love walk is better with people like you here to show us the ropes.

Tammy Brunello You Matter

18 Sep
September 18, 2012

 

Have you ever known someone that people describe as the nicest person you will ever meet? Do you know someone who is so kind that you aren’t sure it is possible to be that nice all the time? Have you ever known someone with an unending and story-book love for their husband? Have you ever known someone who loves their kids with a passion that transcends being just a good mom? Have you ever seen a woman face things like cancer like a momma bear and show you exactly how you would want to be if you were in the same position? I have. Tammera “Tammy” Brunello is an example of how facing anything in life with love is all we need to do. When you get up in the morning, love your family. When you go to work, love your co-workers and your customers. When you have children, volunteer and love everything they are involved in. When you have friends, love them by being there for them, show them kindness and love through your actions.
Tammy Brunello has always been fierce when it comes to her family. She is the quintessential mother hen, her children were always first in everything she did. When her family faced a medical crisis, she became the frontrunner for everything her son had to endure to get healthy. She never gave a thought about things not being in her son’s favor, she simply loved him and found new friends in everyone who helped her son battle and win his challenge. She never allowed her mess to make her bitter or spent a moment complaining. She simply found the positive in each and every day that went by.
Tammy has a unique ability to wear her loving heart on her sleeve. She freely speaks words of love, she freely shows acts of love and she freely tells people that they are loved. Tammy walks the walk of love. She is there for people in all ways. She invests herself in the things that matter to others. It is just her nature and it sets her apart from other people.
Why is it that some people have such an easy time showing their love while others hide it or are fearful of showing it? There is nothing to fear in loving others. If you love your family, tell them. If you want your child to feel supported and accepted, attend their events, encourage them in all that they do and be there for them. If you love your spouse, tell them. Make an effort to stay connected to them throughout the years. If you want to love others learn to not sweat the small stuff. Don’t waste time on what others aren’t doing right and focus on what you can love about them. If you love your friends, make time with them and make opportunities to grow memories.
Tammy, you matter because you are a teacher. You are an example to others about how to love well. You face life with a grace that is not often seen. You stay humble and strong in a world that can be cynical and mean spirited. Your child-like look at life is endearing. Your simple philosophies about how to treat others are wiser than you know. Thank you for being a role model to your children, your friends and your community. Our love walk is better with people like you here to show us the ropes.

Did I Offend You?

17 Sep
September 17, 2012

 

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How many times have you dismissed a negative behavior in yourself or someone else because you believe it is an innate character trait that can’t be helped. Are you judgmental, a grump, opinionated or hard to deal with? Are you a doormat, always second fiddle, too meek to stand up for yourself and always in an abusive situation?
While the theories of nature vs nurture are true; much of your personality is formed from your heritage from mom and dad and your circumstances shape what experiences you have and you react accordingly. The fact remains that two different people can experience the same event and react in different ways.
Over time we begin to react to life in a series of patterns. These patterns may be all we are exposed to as children and they become so intrenched in our mind that we simply believe them to be truths. Sometimes these are great patterns, Sunday dinners with family, helping others, sharing toys. Other times they are destructive, hitting to resolve conflict, using intimidation as a means of control, demeaning others. There is a point in life where things shift and you are exposed to enough common society that you begin to know if your patterns of thought are accurate or flawed. That’s where the power to change occurs.
Once you know that there are better ways to handle life’s problems and you elect to hold on to your maladaptive ways like they are your childhood blankie, you are making conscious decisions to stay stuck. If you are uttering the phrases “but it’s just the way I am” or “That’s just how they are” you are entering into crazy town. I’ve been to crazy town. I met the mayor, the town harlot and the village idiot, trust me, it’s not a great place to visit.
There is no personality trait, no reactionary coping skill and no anti-social behavior that you can’t change. Recognition is the key. I am sure that you have lived enough life by now to have identified what behaviors you have that grate on your and everybody else’s nerves. They can be changed. You can admit that you are scared, don’t know it all and need to make changes. It doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t negate what you survived as a child.
In my life I was exposed to the worst type of problem solving skills imaginable. I learned that big is better than small, children have no vote in anything in life, if people don’t do what you want you can get them to through hitting or humiliating them and that a moms job was to do whatever the dad said, NO MATTER WHAT. I learned that it was normal for the lead parent in the house to be unpredictable, mad one minute and laughing the next and that it was my job to predict that future for my own safety.
Coming out of that childhood lifestyle, you can imagine the wonderful potential skill set I brought to a marriage, friendships and parenting. The truth is I realized by the time I was an adult that many of the experiences I had were not normal. I took classes, saw counselors and learned about healthy ways to be with others. You can too. You can overcome your negative traits. It’s not just how you are. It’s how you decide to be.

Did I Offend You?

17 Sep
September 17, 2012

 


Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000167 EndHTML:0000004359 StartFragment:0000000457 EndFragment:0000004343
How many times have you dismissed a negative behavior in yourself or someone else because you believe it is an innate character trait that can’t be helped. Are you judgmental, a grump, opinionated or hard to deal with? Are you a doormat, always second fiddle, too meek to stand up for yourself and always in an abusive situation?
While the theories of nature vs nurture are true; much of your personality is formed from your heritage from mom and dad and your circumstances shape what experiences you have and you react accordingly. The fact remains that two different people can experience the same event and react in different ways.
Over time we begin to react to life in a series of patterns. These patterns may be all we are exposed to as children and they become so intrenched in our mind that we simply believe them to be truths. Sometimes these are great patterns, Sunday dinners with family, helping others, sharing toys. Other times they are destructive, hitting to resolve conflict, using intimidation as a means of control, demeaning others. There is a point in life where things shift and you are exposed to enough common society that you begin to know if your patterns of thought are accurate or flawed. That’s where the power to change occurs.
Once you know that there are better ways to handle life’s problems and you elect to hold on to your maladaptive ways like they are your childhood blankie, you are making conscious decisions to stay stuck. If you are uttering the phrases “but it’s just the way I am” or “That’s just how they are” you are entering into crazy town. I’ve been to crazy town. I met the mayor, the town harlot and the village idiot, trust me, it’s not a great place to visit.
There is no personality trait, no reactionary coping skill and no anti-social behavior that you can’t change. Recognition is the key. I am sure that you have lived enough life by now to have identified what behaviors you have that grate on your and everybody else’s nerves. They can be changed. You can admit that you are scared, don’t know it all and need to make changes. It doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t negate what you survived as a child.
In my life I was exposed to the worst type of problem solving skills imaginable. I learned that big is better than small, children have no vote in anything in life, if people don’t do what you want you can get them to through hitting or humiliating them and that a moms job was to do whatever the dad said, NO MATTER WHAT. I learned that it was normal for the lead parent in the house to be unpredictable, mad one minute and laughing the next and that it was my job to predict that future for my own safety.
Coming out of that childhood lifestyle, you can imagine the wonderful potential skill set I brought to a marriage, friendships and parenting. The truth is I realized by the time I was an adult that many of the experiences I had were not normal. I took classes, saw counselors and learned about healthy ways to be with others. You can too. You can overcome your negative traits. It’s not just how you are. It’s how you decide to be.

Is Your Coach Certified?

20 May
May 20, 2010


Life Coaching is a useful, affordable way to reach your goals. Life Coaching is valuable because it gets right to the point of where you are trying to go. Different from therapy, Life Coaching is about setting goals, moving forward and identifying the blocks that come up along the way.

If you are using a life coach, make sure they are certified. Certification ensures that the coach has met the industry standards and has been appropriately trained in the field of coaching. There is a difference between a skilled coach and someone who has a lot of advice and experience.

The Faydra Projex

04 Mar
March 4, 2010


I am teaming up with Jill Becker, Owner of Body Projex to promote the book I am writing. Follow my progress on my Snarky Evolution Blog.

Ten years ago, I lost 100 pounds in about nine months without diet pills, weight loss clubs or surgery. Ten years later, I am writing about that journey and how most of the weight I had to lose was in my head.

Follow me as I blog about the journey I take writing the book In The Meantime~ Ten Habits To Develop While You Are Losing Weight.

You can catch all my struggles and triumphs on the Sanrky Evolution Blog.

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